My Son Was Lost to Me

It was very hard on me to lose my son, though I knew on a very deep level I would see him again in Heaven some day. On my most depressed days I wanted to speed up my journey there and take matters into my own hands. One night in particular I was very low. I was lying in my hospital bed and I fell asleep. I dreamed that dream where you are falling and they say if you land in the dream you will die. I remember falling and thinking "no I'm not ready, I want to be well, I don't want to die!" Usually around then I will wake up, but I didn't I kept falling farther and farther into the darkness until I landed. I didn't die, instead I felt myself surrounded by the most profound love I have ever felt. The love of God surrounded me completely from the top to the bottom of the lowest abyss. I realized I was awake and was having the most profound experience of my life. I knew from that day forward that it is true as the Psalmist says in Psalm 139, God is there at the top and the bottom and surrounds us with His wonderful love in every experience. He never leaves us or forsakes us. From that moment onward I began to get better and reclaim my life!